Sam and Max: Fever Dream
by InGodzHandz
Summary: Max gets sick and bad things happen. This is based more on the TV show than it is on the games. This is my first work that is primarily comedy so please be patient.
1. Chapter 1

"You can't do this to me, Sam!" Max said hoarsely while standing on the couch with his blanket wrapped around him, looking at Sam, and counting on his four fingers with the TV going in the background. "I listened to the doctor when she made me let the Geek clean my room and listened to her when she forced me to bathe but this is going too far! She can't keep me from going to work. I'll die of boredom, Sam!"

"I'm sorry, little pal," Sam said standing behind the couch. "It's the doctor's orders and I can't say I blame her. You've done nothing but vomit on everything and cough up your lungs all weekend. You've barely even left the couch or eaten a thing since Friday. Face it, Max. You're sicker than a rat during the Black Plague."

"I'm not _that_ sick," the lagomorph whined before he starting to cough loudly. "I don't need to stay here, Sam. Let me… _cough_ …chase some delinquents… _cough_ … _cough_ …That'll make me feel real better."

Max then stood up with his purple blanket still wrapped around him, pulled out his luger, and started walking to the door, crookedly, because he was dizzy and his aching and burning head was spinning.

"You can't even walk in a straight line, little pal," Sam said grabbing the arm holding the luger to support him. "How do you expect to chase after the dwellers of this city's underbelly when you can't even shoot straight."

"I can't shoot straight anyway," Max said shaking out of his grip.

After a few dizzy steps and suppressed moans in response to the aches going through every inch of his body, Max made it to the front door.

"There, see, Sam?" Max said twisting open the handle. "You are… _cough_ …just being paranoid. I'm fine. Now, let's go do some freelance police work."

When he opened the door, the Geek was standing right there getting ready to knock on the door with one hand while holding a suitcase with another.

"Oh," Max said between coughs. "Hi, Geek. You here to bring us something to help with our next mission?"

"I'm actually here to help Sam," the Geek said crossing her arms. "I'm going to be making sure you rest while he's away."

"What?!" Max's sore voice yelled as loudly as he could before turning around just in time to notice Sam reaching down to grab him.

Sam only managed to grab the blanket as Max managed to scamper out between the Geek's legs and ran into the front of their car. He fell backwards onto the hard concrete of their driveway and started shivering.

"Why did the Almighty make it so cold today?" Max complained as he rolled around on the ground.

"It's summer, Max," Sam said as he and the Geek turned around to look at him. "It is currently sunny with a high of 85 degrees."

"Well, it feels like the inside of the icebox," Max said as he used the front of the car as support to pull himself up and fought the nausea as he continued using it to support him while he found his way to the passenger's side of the car.

"Did you find anything toxic in the contents of Max's room that could possibly explain the severity of his flu?" Sam asked while his partner was wretching against the side of the passenger door.

"Yes, in everything," the Geek said. "There were too many strains of bacteria and viruses to count! The Center for Disease Control doesn't have as many strains as there were in there. Max's room was a disease's paradise! It's a wonder that he hasn't dropped dead already."

"All my precious hazardous waste," Max whined between wretches. "Gone!"

"That would explain why Max always had an immune system of iron," Sam said. "Whenever all the flus and bugs came through school, he never caught any of it. Nothing could ever make him sick."

They then both heard the sound of Max throwing up on the driveway.

"Until now," Sam said. "The doctor said it was a severe form of the flu. It wasn't severe enough for him to be hospitalized but it is severe enough for him to be quarantined so to speak. She said that he would make a full recovery as long as he took his medicine and rested."

"Has he been doing either of those things?" the Geek asked skeptically.

Max finally pulled open the door and climbed into the passenger's seat on his side of the car.

"What do you think?" Sam asked. "I haven't been able to get him to take the medicine so his frequent and annoying vomiting spasms have made it hard for him to sleep. I keep telling him that it'll make him feel better but he's harder to persuade than a cat on wash day and about twice as violent."

"Sam… _coughs_ …we have to go," Max said as he opened the car door, sneezed immediately afterwards, and then slammed the door again.

"Well, don't worry," the Geek said. "Today's my day off, so I can make sure that he sleeps or at least make sure he doesn't leave the house."

"This will be the most dangerous task of your young life," Sam said as seriously as he could. "Are you prepared?"

"Don't worry," the Geek said pulling her suitcase of supplies up. "I came prepared."

"Good, because I have to do this job to pay for Max's medical bills," Sam said as he walked over to Max's side of the car. "I hate to leave him, especially like this, but what choice do I have?"

Sam opened the door while carefully avoiding the vomit on the ground and found Max sitting inside.

"Are we ready to go?" Max asked impatiently. "Or do you want to stand there and talk like someone who has no place to be?"

Sam quickly wrapped the blanket around Max so that it restrained his arms and then hoisted him under his arm.

"Hey!" Max yelled while flinging about his legs wildly as Sam walked back to the front door. "Put me down! Put me down! Put me down! I can fight you stupid, flea-bitten mutt! Just put me down! _Cough!_ "

"I'm sorry, little pal," Sam said. "This is for your own good."

"That's what all the bad people say to justify the bad things they do. _Cough! Cough!_ "

"Thanks again for doing this, Geek," Sam said while walking through the front door.

"Yeah, yeah," the Geek said while opening her suitcase on the coffee table to reveal all the robotics inside. "Just remember you owe me later."

"Be careful around the couch," Sam said. "Max has only left it to use the bathroom."

"I'm way ahead of you," the Geek said as she put on a gas mask and sprayed disinfectant all over it.

Max continued straining his sore throat and yelling while Sam quickly made it to Max's room.

"No, Sam!" Max yelled as Sam opened the door to the room. "Don't make me go in there. It smells like disinfectant and roses. It's going to make me sick!"

Sam turned on the lights revealing the still shiny clean inside of Max's room. The walls were dazzling white and bare from being stripped of posters and too horribly boring to look at. His floor whose rug had to be torn up and replaced with hardwood was offensively clean since all his precious hazardous waste had to be removed. The furniture had to be replaced, too. He had a new bureau of clothes he never wore, a clean closet with more of the same, a bed with clean sheets and a clean pillow, a nightstand with a lamp and clean comic books, and a TV on a TV stand full of videogames with a cleaner game console. His equally clean bathroom somehow managed to outshine it all. The only thing cleaner was the window that let in the sunlight.

"Oh, the horror! The horror! The horror!" Max yelled.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sam said. "The Geek's robots did a great job in here."

Max grimaced as Sam laid him down gently on his bed.

"You're a traitor, Sam," Max said as he freed himself from his blanket, laid back on his pillow, and writhed about in pain. "I can't believe it. Betrayed by my own best pal!"

"Max, you are being more annoyingly childish than usual," Sam said. "Instead of sulking, what you need to do is get better so that you can be fighting fit."

"I'm gonna die of boredom, Sam," Max said waving his hands around in expression. "What am I supposed to do all day?"

"You can sleep or watch anything you want on our unidentified streaming service," Sam said as he turned on the TV.

"I can't bear it, Sam," Max said as he latched himself onto Sam's arm. "I need action or I will go mad! Mad, I tell you! Absolutely bonkers!"

"You need your rest, Max," Sam said pulling the rabbit off his arm by the scruff of his neck and placing him back on the bed.

"I can't do it," Max said wretching in nausea again before Sam managed to pull out a garbage can for him to vomit in. "You'll die without me. I need to be there to help you."

"Now, now, Max," Sam said as Max threw up for the thirtieth time that day. "This mission I'm going on will not be that exciting. It is going to be very boring and routine I assure you. I will finish it up, collect the money, and come back here to nurse you back to health. I promise."

Max pulled his head out of the garbage can and said, "It's not fair. I don't want to be alone."

"You will not be alone," Sam said pulling out the container of Max's dreaded medicine, unscrewing the lid, and pulling out a pill. "The Geek will be here to give you anything you need and keep you from escaping until I get back, but until then, you need to get better. Now, before I leave, take your medicine."

"I am not taking the pill, Sam," Max said crossing his arms and turning away.

Sam pulled on his ears, making Max scream so that he could toss the pill into his mouth and forced him to swallow it.

"That was ethically questionable," Max said as Sam pulled out a glass and went to the bathroom to fill it up with water.

Once he did, he placed it on Max's bedside and said, "It was for your own good, little pal."

Max's head started spinning again and he said, "Oh, God, I've been roofied."

"Don't be ridiculous," Sam said as he walked over to the window and pulled down the blinds to block out the sunlight. "I don't think the doctor would try something like that. On you, anyway."

"Do I _really_ have to stay here?" Max whined. "The doctor doesn't have to know I left the house. Couldn't we just both agree not to tell her?"

"No can do, Max," Sam said tucking his little rabbit friend under the covers. "You're too sick to fight, and in our line of work, that's dangerous. But it's okay, you'll feel better soon and be back to fighting baddies in no time."

"In the meantime, I just have to stay here and try not to chew my arm off out of boredom," Max said as he stared at his friend.

"That's the spirit, little pal," Sam said as he got up and walked to the door. "Now, be a good boy for the babysitter while I'm gone."

"No promises," Max said as Sam turned off the lights.

"Pleasant dreams, Max," Sam said as he walked out the door shutting it behind him.

There Max was, sitting there alone facing at least several hours of absolute boredom. The horror!


	2. Chapter 2

Max quickly ran out of things to do.

He tried escaping through the backyard but the Geek's robots dragged him back before he could get too far. He tried flushing himself down the toilet, but the Geek stopped him there, too. To make matters worse, she made him bathe again _and_ brush his teeth.

The effort exhausted Max enough to make him stay in bed and sip his glass of water that the Geek set up a sensor in so that a robot would come and refill it for him when it was empty. Because of the meds, he didn't feel like throwing up anymore, but the lack of nausea made him only more able to focus on how bored he was as he sat there with his pillow fluffed up against the back of the bed so that it could support his sore back.

He had already played all his videogames and read all his comics before and did not feel like touching them again. He tried catching up on TV, but after watching one episode of "Cops," Max was all caught up and was facing absolute boredom once again as he stared listlessly at the screen.

That is what he had been doing all weekend, but before, Sam was there to keep Max company. Now, he was detained in his room while Sam was out fighting crime. It was unfair. Sam shouldn't have forced him to stay behind all alone. He wished he could get him back for leaving him.

Max shrugged off the thought and pulled out his unidentified smart phone to call his other not incarcerated family members and friends while practicing shooting holes in his ceiling. Oddly enough, none of them answered so Max called the Geek instead.

"Hi, Geek," Max said in his sore voice.

"Max, would you stop shooting the gun?" the Geek asked. "Some of us have work to do."

"But I'm using the bullet holes to recreate the Mona Lisa. You would not stop an artist at work. Would you?"

The Geek rolled her eyes and asked, "What do you want, Max?"

"I'll level with ya," Max replied as he continued work on making Mona Lisa's smile. "I'm bored. Would you mind coming in here to keep me company?"

"I can't. Sorry, Max, but Sam said you were contagious."

"I do have a winning personality."

"Your flu, pea brain."

"Come on. I am bored off my ass in here. Can't you send a robot in here for me to practice firing on or just talk to me on the phone? No one else will answer my calls or talk to me. I'm going to go looney in here."

"You need to sleep, Max. No one's answering your calls because they want you to sleep."

"How do they know I'm sick?" Max asked as he stopped firing his gun.

"Sam told them."

"WHAT?!"

Max ended the call and used his remote to pull up their unidentified streaming service in a huff. He saw that a new season of their favorite show had just been uploaded and had an idea. He smiled. It was time to get his revenge.

Max picked up his phone and called Sam.

"Hey, Max," Sam said. "I take it from the fact that you're calling me that you have been unsuccessful in your endeavor to fall asleep."

"YOU TOLD EVERYONE NOT TO ANSWER MY CALLS?!" Max yelled. "What the hell is wrong with you, ya bastard?!"

"That, I did, Max. You need to rest and so I told everyone on your contact list not to talk to you if you called so that you would."

"You know I can't stand boredom, Sam. Why would you do such a horrendous thing to torment my poor, little psyche?!"

"It was for your own good, little pal. I don't want anything to distract you from sleeping."

"You keep saying those words. I don't think they mean what you think they mean."

"Look, I hate to leave you hanging, little buddy, but I have work to do."

Max cackled evilly and said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Why not? What's going on?" Sam asked in growing fear.

"Because I have a certain show up on our unidentified…"

"Max, that joke stopped being funny in the last chapter."

"Alright, I have a certain show pulled up on Netflix that just released its new season today."

"Oh, no! You don't mean…!"

"Yes," Max said as his voice grew louder and more psychotic. "The new season of Attack on Titan!"

"Oh, no, you fiend! What are you doing? You're not going to…"

"Yes, I'm going to watch the new season without you and spoil everything when you get home! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Sam thought quickly. He got out of the call section of his smartphone and pushed the necessary buttons while Max continued laughing in the background. When Sam was done, the error message came up on the screen of Max's television and logged Max out of Netflix.

"What?" Max said at a whisper since the evil laughing took out most of the voice he had left. "What did you do?"

"I changed the password of our Netflix account," Sam said proudly. "Now, you won't be able to watch a damn thing until I get home. Isn't modern technology a wonder, Max?"

"If I had the voice left to yell, I would."

"Would you like to continue this argument via text then?"

"Yes, please."

Sam hung up and sent Max a text message, "I know you're angry at me right now, little pal. I also know that it is no doubt due to your delirium caused by a combination of lack of sleep and a high fever affecting your brain. You need to listen to me and rest so that you'll feel better. I miss working with you, and I want you to come back to fighting villains with me. So, what do you say? How about you rest now and argue with me later?"

Max responded by sitting back against his pillow, turning on the regular cable, and sending Sam angry face emojis repeatedly while watching TV and sipping his water.

After about five minutes, the Geek came in wearing a surgical mask with a large robot following her and said, "Hey, Max. Sam says you are getting on his nerves, so you've lost your phone and TV privileges."

Max quickly pulled out a dry erase board and marker from one of his desk drawers. He participated in the conversation by writing replies on it and holding it up so the Geek could see it.

"Why?" Max wrote.

"Because of what we've been saying all along," the Geek said while her robot picked up his TV and carried it out of his room. "You need to sleep, Max."

"Why are you on _his_ side? Everyone has betrayed me. I am fed up with this world!"

The Geek walked over and plucked Max's smartphone from his hands and looked in his drawers until she found his charger. Once she did, she handed Max a tablet.

"Sam said you could use his Kindle to read some books if you got bored," the Geek said. "Try to sleep, Max. We really do just want you to feel better."

Max responded by rolling his eyes and facing away from her. He drew on his dry erase board as the Geek sighed in frustration and refilled his cup of water one more time. When she was done and about to leave the room, Max turned back around and coughed to get her attention.

The Geek looked at Max to see that he had drown a picture of himself giving the middle finger and a written message that only said, "To Sam." Max smiled in pride as the Geek took out her phone and took a picture out of amusement before leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.

Max laid back in his bed and decided begrudgingly to read something on the Kindle until he could fall asleep. He flipped through the books, most of which he had already read, until he found something that caught his attention. Max read that something until the fatigue of a sleepless weekend gradually caught up with him and finally made him fall asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Max woke up a while later. He sat up and looked around and realized one thing immediately.

"Hey," Max said in a voice that wasn't sore. "My voice is back. I don't feel dizzy, cold, or nauseous anymore. I'm all better, and like a dumbass, I'm not going to question it at all! Yay!"

Max hopped out of bed, opened the door, and skipped out of his room in happiness. As he skipped, he noticed the sunlight pouring in through the windows of their den and his best friend doing something in their kitchen while wearing a trench coat oddly enough.

"Hey, Sam," Max said happily as he walked up to him. "I'm all better. Check it out. I can move around without feeling like I'm about to die. Isn't it great? I can go back to work!"

"That is great, Sam said in a weird monotone. "I have made food. Will you not sit down to eat it?"

"Um, okay," Max said in confusion as he pulled up a chair and sat at their table. "Are you feeling alright, Sam? You're talking kinda weird. You sound more boring and uninteresting than you normally do. Did something happen?"

"No, nothing of the kind, buddy," Sam said in a voice that was livelier and almost suggestive while he put a mug of coffee and a bowl of oatmeal in front of Max.

"Alright then, how did the case go?" Max asked between sipping the coffee. "Have you solved it yet? Please tell me that you haven't and that there is still someone we need to beat up. All that rest has restored my energy for mindless violence."

"Don't you think you should use that energy for better things?" Sam asked while resting his hands on Max's chair.

"What are you talking about?" Max asked as he turned around to look at him while eating from the oatmeal bowl in his hands. "What could be better than giving my energy to fighting the scum of New York's bowels? Besides, playing videogames, that is?"

Sam tore off his trench coat to reveal a bondage outfit that looked exactly how Dr. Frank-N-Furter dressed in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" movie and splayed himself on the table. Max's face froze in horrified shock and dropped the bowl he was holding onto the floor.

"How about giving your energy to me, lover…boy…?" Sam asked as he reached towards Max who just then regained his senses.

Max slapped away his hand and jumped backwards onto the floor while pulling out his luger.

"Stay the hell away from me, impostor!" Max screamed while aiming the gun at Sam's face. "Who are you?! What have you done with Sam?!"

"I'm right here, little buddy," Sam said getting off the table and walking towards Max who walked backwards with every step Sam took. "You don't need to be afraid of me. Why don't you put that gun down so we can have some real fun?"

"No," Max said in terror as he backed away to the door. "You're not him. There's no way…"

"Believe it, senpai," Sam said walking suggestively in his high heels. "It's me."

"No, you're not Sam," Max said finding himself backed against the couch. "You can't be."

"You have psychic powers, you sexy beast," Sam said as he crouched down so that he would be eye-level with Max. "Read my mind and see for yourself."

Max remembered that Sam was right and did what he said. He was right. All the memories were there. It was Sam, but he was very clearly altered.

"Oh, my God," Max said in horrified realization as he trembled uncontrollably. "It _is_ you. There's something wrong with you, buddy. Someone's messed up your brain! Can't you see that? Snap out of it, Sam!"

"What is there to snap out of?" Sam asked as he leaned in closer and closer to Max's face. "I think you need to snap _into_ some things if you know what I mean."

Max used his telekinetic powers that he just remembered he had and slammed Sam into their fridge causing it to fall on top of his legs. Sam howled in pain.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Max said as he ran into the kitchen. "You left me no choice. Now, stay here and try not to die while I find some help."

"Please don't take too long," Sam said looking lewdly at him while lying on his stomach in complete composure. "The anticipation is killing me."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Max screamed while he threw open the front door and quickly ran out of the house and into the driver's side of the DeSoto.

Max locked all the doors and noticed that there were phone books for him to sit on underneath him. He also noticed that there were boxes of ammunition, a car charger and his phone in the shotgun seat right next to him.

"What is going on?" Max asked himself in increasing panic. "Why is the world so convenient all of a sudden? Whatever, it doesn't matter. I have to break Sam's trance."

Max moved his right hand to twist the key in the ignition, but inconveniently, he realized there was nothing there.

"Looking for these?" Max heard Sam say.

Max looked up to see Sam posing on the hood of the car while waving the keys around. His legs were fine. Max's eyes grew wide with terror.

"The car would not be my first choice, but I'm willing to be flexible, you little devil, you," Sam said. "I'll just let myself in."

Max screamed at the top of his lungs as he jumped under the wheel, used his telekinesis to rip open a hole, and pulled the necessary wires together to hot wire the car. He then jumped up and used his powers to push the gas as he backed up the car down the driveway quickly, throwing Sam off the hood.

"Never did I think I would be so grateful for my family's delinquency," Max said to himself as he put the car in drive and drove down the street as fast as he could while he saw Sam get left behind in the rear-view mirror. "Don't worry, Sam. I'll get to the bottom of this."


	4. Chapter 4

"You're sure that you have no idea what I'm talking about?" Max asked incredulously on his phone as he paced up and down the roof of the DeSoto which was flying in the air due to his telekinetic abilities. "I have certain incriminating photographs ready to be presented in a court of law that say you do."

Max listened to the response on the other end and said, "Uh huh. Uh huh. I see. Well, I guess you're off the hook for now, but I'm watching you."

He hung up the phone and crossed his arms as he looked out over the horizon with the wind blowing through his ears.

"Damn," Max said. "None of our enemies have any idea what I'm talking about. I'm out of suspects. Now, what am I supposed to do?"

He sighed as he jumped onto the hood of the car and laid back on the window to think some more. From up there, Max could see the highway underneath him and the city up ahead.

"Your vehicle is flying dangerously close to the city!" Max heard a loudspeaker voice said. "Land your vehicle now!"

He turned around and saw a helicopter flying next to him with a man in the doorway holding the loudspeaker.

"I repeat!" the man said. "Land your vehicle now!"

Without a word, Max sighed, pulled out a canister of tear gas, and threw it into the helicopter, where it unleashed rainbows, flowers, and other harmless magical things that filled the passengers of the helicopter with happiness.

"What the hell?" Max asked himself in confusion as they all prattled along happily.

He climbed back into his car in a panic to try his other weapons. Max threw a grenade at them that exploded into cotton candy. He fired a bazooka that shot out some ice cream in cones that the pilot and passenger caught in their hands. Then finally, he tried his luger that shot out multi-colored paint balls that hit the man in the doorway and made him smile.

"Why, thank you, citizen!" the man in the helicopter said in a disgustingly happy tone. "You are quite thoughtful. Please enjoy the rest of your flight and avoid hitting the buildings up ahead. Okay?"

The helicopter flew away and left Max alone in his confused thoughts. The world was not making sense. It normally never did, but today, the world was in rare form. Something was off, and it was only getting worse.

"What is going on?" he asked himself. "First, Sam is time-warped into being a sexual degenerate, then all my stuff is appearing out of nowhere, and now all my weapons are child-friendly. Nothing is making sense. The world is going crazier than it usually is and I have no Sam to help me. What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?!"

Max slapped himself in the face to make himself calm down and said, "Calm down and think. What would Sam say?"

"Cheer up, little pal," Max said talking like Sam. "There has to be some explanation for why the world around us seems to be more bizarre than it usually is. Sure, we have no weapons and no idea where to start looking for answers, but we need to keep our chins up. A solution shall surely present itself eventually. Why don't we talk to the Geek and see what she says?"

"Hey," Max said switching back to his normal voice. "That's a great idea…. Wait a second, that is what I was already doing. You're no help, Sam!"

Impulsively, he made the car move like a rollercoaster in between the buildings of New York City. Max smiled as the car went up quickly and did somersaults in the air while holding himself in place with his seat belt.

"Yeah! I don't know why I never thought of flying the car before," Max said out loud as he set the car right side up again. "There is more space up here, no traffic, and great radio and phone reception. The only setbacks are the birds you occasionally must avoid. Hey, Sam! How about we do this more often? Sam?"

He looked at the seat next to him and remembered that he was alone. Max used the bazooka to give himself an ice cream cone to munch on until he finally found the Geek's lab.


	5. Chapter 5

Max found the Geek's lab and landed the car in the parking lot in front of it. He noticed how hot it was as he climbed out of the window and ran across the hot concrete to the door.

"Geek?!" Max yelled as he swung the door open.

The lab was eerily silent. Max shut the door behind him as he began to look around. It was much bigger than the lab that the Geek had in their basement when she was a preteen and was usually brimming with activity and noise. The fact that nothing was happening was more than unusual. It was a clear sign of something bad.

"Geek?!" Max yelled as he started running around. "Geek?! Where are you? Geek?! We have a problem! Sam is brainwashed! He thinks he's the sweet transvestite from Transsexual Transylvania! We have to do something! Geek?!"

The Geek heard an odd squeal as he ran past one of the rooms in a random corridor he ran through.

"Geek?!" Max said as he slid to a stop. "Is that you?"

The squealing continued as Max stood on his toes to look through the window and saw Geek's red hair.

"Geek!" Max said opening the door. "Thank the Maker! We have a problem."

"So, do I," the Geek said turning around the reveal her body.

She now had the body proportions of a stereotypical anime woman. She was unrealistically skinny and tall and her breasts were disproportionately large. Her eyes were also huge.

"Jesus Christ, Geek!" Max yelled in surprise. "What happened to you?!"

"I don't know," Geek said struggling to keep herself balanced. "Strange things have been happening since I left your house today. I don't know how you're healthy but I'm happy you're here. I need your help. Where's Sam?"

"That's the problem. I woke up from my nap and I felt all better, but Sam was a complete sexual deviant. Someone's brainwashed, him. He's completely not himself. And almost as bad, my weapons have been changed to be…NON-LETHAL! It's like someone's changed everything."

"Oh, no! It's worse than I thought. Someone really has altered our reality!"

"Altered our reality? What are you talking about? I thought only God and Donald Trump had the power to do that."

The Geek sat down on her computer and pulled up the picture of her invention.

"Not anymore. My invention could do it. It was a machine with the ability to alter reality, the most powerful invention I've ever made," the Geek explained. "I made it with the intention of altering the environment to stop global warming, but someone has stolen it and used it to evidently alter the reality of our lives instead."

"But who would do such a thing? Who would have the balls and why?!" Max exclaimed.

"I wish I knew. I came back here after leaving your house and found my invention gone. Not long afterwards, this happened. Now, I look like a model and feel like my IQ is dropping by the second. I don't understand the Theory of Relativity anymore. I shudder to know what I will forget next."

"No, Geek!" Max said as he jumped on top of her lap and grabbed the collar of her shirt. "You can't leave me! You can't change! You have to help me save Sam! I can't do this on my own!"

"I'm trying, Max," the Geek said as her voice started to grow more high-pitched. "But I feel like I'm losing my intellect and turning into an offensively dumb woman stereotype. If only I knew where the thief altering the world could be, I know I could figure it out, but I feel like I'm struggling not to become someone I'm not, even though I'm still me. It's weird. It's almost like I am being written differently."

The last sentence rang around Max's brain as everything finally clicked. He blankly ahead as everything came together in his mind.

"Max, what is it?" the Geek asked noticing his vacant expression. "Max?"

"I know what's going on," Max said grabbed the Geek's hand. "Let's go, Geek!"

Max took off running back to the entrance with the Geek being pulled behind him.

"Max, what is going on?!" the Geek yelled. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to face the idiot responsible for this," Max said as he threw open the door to the Geek's lab only to face a raging thunderstorm outside. "I know who's responsible, Geek. I know what's going on."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I am not following you, Max!" the Geek yelled while Max pulled her to the passenger's side of their DeSoto. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Slow down!"

"Get in the car, Geek," Max said while he slid across the hood to the other side and opened his side of the car. "I'll explain everything on the way!"

The Geek climbed in the car, and they both shut the doors behind them. Max, noticing that he still didn't have keys, pulled apart an interdimensional tear to grab them from his kitchen table and then pulled it shut.

"Max, what did you just do?" the Geek said as she began to panic. "Tell me what's going on right now."

"It's as I thought," Max said twisting on the ignition. "I'm the Mary Sue."

"What's a Mary Sue?" the Geek asked.

"The ridiculously overpowered main character with inexplicable abilities," Max said as he started driving the car quickly down through the streets and up into the sky with the help of his telekinesis and jet boosters that spontaneously appeared on the back of their car. "It's a trope in all bad fan fiction."

"Fan fiction?" the Geek asked as Max climbed into the back and opened another tear which opened into a room filled with weapons. "Max, what do you mean?"

"You mostly deal with all that academic stuff, so it's no wonder you don't know about it," Max said while he reached in and carried out all the weapons he could. "But it's something I see all the time since I spend so much time on the internet. Fan fiction is any story that fans write about the fandoms they're interested in. Sometimes, they're good, and sometimes, they're terrible. In our case, it's terrible."

"In our case?" the Geek said while Max closed the tear and she held onto all the brain power she had left. "Do you mean that someone has rewritten reality to represent a bad fan fiction story?"

"Exactly," Max said turning on the windshield wipers as quickly as they would go. "It is the only explanation that makes sense if you think about it. Most bad fan fiction has two things in common. First, the rules of the story's reality make no sense. I got better and have godlike powers out of nowhere. The weather and all my weapons also changed on a whim. Second, the story's characters are written all wrong. Neither you or Sam are acting normal, Geek. Think about it. If someone really stole your reality changing machine, then only they would have the ability to change you two so drastically."

"So, the world has been rewritten to resemble a bad fan fiction," the Geek said. "I can change everything back if I can just hold onto my memories of how to do it long enough."

Max opened another tear and pulled out a notebook and a pen before shutting it again.

"Quick, write down everything about how to shut the machine off!" Max said as he handed the materials to the Geek. "And buckle up. I hate to sound clichéd, but this ride is going to be bumpy."

Max rolled down the window and climbed onto the hood of the vehicle. The wind and rain were blowing into his face, but his telekinesis managed to hold him in place. He pulled open another tear and pulled out a portal gun from Aperture Science lying on the floor and surrounded with blood. Max shut the tear as a turret was beginning to aim at him.

"Max!" the Geek yelled. "Where do we go? Do you know where the machine is?"

"Yeah!" Max yelled while firing a portal on the stone side of the tallest building he could see and then climbing on top of the car.

He looked until he could see his target and then he fired.

"I only know one fanboy who's nerdy enough to write fan fiction about us and smart enough to get everything so perfectly wrong," Max said while flying his car through the portal on the building and out through the portal in the carnival yard in front of the fun house. "Lorne."


	6. Chapter 6

"Have you written everything down, Geek?" Max said as he finished magically putting all his newly found weapons into the circular silver time-stopping piece he had on his arm.

"Yes," the Geek said after writing her final sentence. "I can just barely remember how to carry out the instructions, but we have to hurry. I feel tempted to binge watch MTV."

"Good, because I have been looking forward to this for a long time," Max said jumping out of the car into the pouring rain, slamming the door, and grinning from ear to ear. "I'm going to enjoy this far more than I should."

"I'm glad _you're_ excited," the Geek said sarcastically as she followed behind him.

"Don't worry, Geek," Max said as he pulled open another tear. "You know the plan. I distract him and you get the machine. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Famous last words," the Geek said rolling her eyes as she ran up behind him.

"I'm glad you still have your refreshingly honest sarcasm. Hold onto that."

Max climbed through the tear and pulled the Geek in behind him before closing it.

The tear led to the inside of the deceptively large fun house where Lorne made his home. They turned a corner and saw Lorne in his living room bowing to the shrine of Sam and Max.

"Oh, great Saint Steve Purcell!" Lorne prayed. "Please look upon with favor what I do tonight!"

"Who's Saint Steve Purcell?" the Geek whispered to Max while Lorne continued praying.

"I have no idea," Max whispered back. "He sounds like a nerd."

"There's my machine," the Geek said pointing over to the other side of the room where her device was sitting on a small table. "You better create your diversion now. I just forgot what antidisestablishmentarianism was."

"I never knew what that was," Max said pulling a yellow ribbon out of the air and wrapping it around her hand much to the Geek's confusion.

"What is this for?"

"So, you don't freeze too when I do this."

Max used the circular device attached to his arm to stop time all around them. Lorne was frozen in front of his shrine so they could do their work.

"Alright, whatever," the Geek said while Max extended the ribbon as far as he needed to and the Geek ran across the room and pulled up a chair so she could use her device.

Max could hardly contain his excitement as he wrapped the ribbon around his wrist and ran in front of Lorne. He pulled the first machine gun out from behind the time stopper on his arm.

"Are you going to kill him?" the Geek asked from across the room.

"Probably," Max replied. "But don't worry your pretty little head, Geek. You can simply reverse what I've done if I feel bad about it later."

"Max, you can't…"

Max caused the ribbon dissolve subsequently causing the Geek to freeze in place.

"I'm sorry, Geek," Max said with a wide, psychotic grin as he prepared his gun. "I have been waiting for this opportunity for too damn long."

Max fired all the bullets out of his machine gun at Lorne's back. The bullets froze in time before they could reach him, but that didn't matter. Max laughed maniacally as he ran around unloading his weapon in all the possible angles he could. When the gun was empty, he threw that gun to the side and pulled out another weapon to do the same thing. Max unloaded every weapon he had onto Lorne to make him pay, not just for what he did to Sam and the Geek, but for how much of a pain he had been in their lives. All the kidnappings, all the ravings, all the crimes they had to stop him from doing, all the problems he caused, all the moves, all the restraining orders, all of it. Lorne had been such a nuisance in their lives, and the only reason Max hadn't done this sooner was that Sam had always stopped him. Now, he wasn't there and Max had the power to do whatever he wanted.

Max finally finished unloading all the ammo on his final weapon and stopped to take a breather. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and breathed hard. Max looked at satisfaction on the scene that was so full of bullets that Lorne could not be seen anymore. Max's cheeks hurt from smiling so much. When he finally caught his breath, he turned time back on and waited in anticipation.

But instead of the bloodbath he was hoping for, Max's look of glee turned into one of terror as all the bullets that he fired simply turned into paintballs when they hit Lorne. The Geek quickly unfroze and got to work on changing the machine's settings while Lorne still didn't notice she was there.

"You're here!" Lorne said happily turning around covered in paint. "I knew you'd come. You're so smart and so clever. I knew you'd figure it out. I just knew it!"

"What the hell have you done?" Max demanded holding up his empty gun as a threat. "Why have you messed up the world? What is going on, Lorne?"

 _"The Friend for Life!"_

"Shut up!" Max yelled at the invisible chorus.

"That gun won't work, Max," Lorne asked as he picked up a towel and cleared away all the paint. "All weapons are harmless now."

"Dammit," Max said throwing his gun to the side along with the others.

"It's just one of the many things I have done to make the world better and improve the lives of you and Sam!"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"You two have worked hard for such a long time and what do you have to show for it? You drive an old car, you live in practical obscurity, and you're stuck in a crappy house…"

"Hey!" Max said crossing his arms. "That's not true. We've moved up in the world. We have a vintage car, a small but loyal fanbase, and a crappy house where Sam and I can finally have separate rooms and bathrooms. See? That's progress!"

"But you deserve so much more!" Lorne said running up to Max and shaking his shoulders. "You deserve to be rich and famous. You deserve to have the best of the best this world has to offer. You deserve all that and more! That's why I've waited for an opportunity like this for so long. That's why I changed reality to make you more marketable so you two can finally become popular!"

"Too make us more marketable?" Max asked incredulously as he snapped his fingers and teleported behind Lorne so that he had turn back around, looking away from the Geek.

"Yes, I've done research. Gun violence is a big problem in this country, so I have made guns harmless. People now like heroes who can fight without them. They also like everything being convenient so I made that happen, too. I rewrote Sam's personality to make him homosexual since campaigning for gay rights is a big deal now. I figured if you were a gay couple then more people would like you. And I made you all powerful because people love superheroes. Don't you see. Everything I did I did for you. I just want to make you popular."

"Then, why did you change the Geek?"

"I want a girlfriend. I'm so lonely."

Max scowled in disgust and then snapped back into a psychotic smile in response to everything he just heard. He used his telekinetic powers to raise himself up so that he was floating above Lorne's eye level.

"Three things, Lorne," Max said as he floated closer and closer to Lorne's face. "First, I have nothing against people doing whatever lovey dovey crap they want. It's gross and I don't understand it, but whatever, I don't care. However, that's not what me and Sam are. We're best friends, brothers, two halves of one psycho. I don't know what you call it, but we're not in love. I don't swing that way, neither does he. Second, we have gotten as far as we have because we have stayed true to who we are, not because we gave into whatever trend was popular at the time or because we changed ourselves to be more marketable, but because we've been ourselves. If we ever become popular, that's great, but if not, we're fine with being 'obscure.' Either way we go, we're going to get there by being ourselves. Third and finally, I appreciate the unlimited power, but if you really thought there was a chance the rest of this shit would fly with me, then you shouldn't have made me the Mary Sue or brainwashed the only person who could possibly stop me from beating your face in."

Max pulled out his portal gun from his time stopper and shot a portal underneath Lorne and above him so that he was falling infinitely. After about a minute, Max shot a portal on the wall across the room. As Lorne was hurdling towards him, Max landed and stomped his feet into the ground to earthbend a stone wall for Lorne to smack into. He then used airbending to fly himself above Lorne.

"Gomu, gomu, no, pistol!" Max yelled as his arms stretched out to punch Lorne repeatedly.

He stopped punching and looked at his work while gravity pulled him to the ground. Lorne was still moving, a little bit.

"Now, for my next trick, watch me get banned in Europe!" Max yelled gleefully as a white skull mask around his eyes, a red scarf around his neck, and a black leather jacket on his arms appeared out of nowhere.

He grabbed his mask and pulled it off his face pulling his skin around his eyes off with it and screaming, "PERSONA! God damn! That hurts!"

Max's skin and white mask rematerialized as a ten-foot-tall, black jackalope with demon wings, red eyes, and large fangs materialized above him.

"Sick 'em, Maximus!" Max yelled as Lorne flipped himself over and stared Max down in fear.

With that, Maximus jumped on top of Lorne and proceeded to claw him apart mercilessly.

Max snapped his fingers and teleported next to the Geek.

"Isn't that overkilling?" the Geek asked gesturing to the jackalope attacking Lorne.

"More like underkilling," Max replied. "How close are you to changing everything back?"

"I'm just about done. Just in time, too. I couldn't remember how to do it again."

"Then, is there no way you could change everything back except me having these powers? I'm having the time of my life."

"I just told you, Max. I can barely remember how to change everything back. I am not going to try to mess with anything else."

"Bummer, I guess we can simply make adjustments later…Ahh!"

Max felt himself lose control of all his limbs. He was pulled through the air towards Lorne with his limbs pinned to his side. The Geek was pulled over in the same way.

Lorne then quickly poked multiple points on Max's body. His outfit, his time device, her persona, and his powers disappeared while Lorne still held him suspended in the air. Max hung limp. He was now completely paralyzed.

"What did you just do?" the Geek asked fearfully.

"I knew you would take advantage of your powers," Lorne said excitedly to Max. "I just knew you would, so I gave myself powers, too. I healed myself and used my waterbending abilities to bloodbend you and my chi blocking to block all your powers."

"Wait," Max said snapping back to life. "Have you watched or read 'Avatar: The Last Airbender' or 'Legend of Korra?' You can't use bloodbending and chi blocking at the same time!"

"I can in this story!" Lorne said happily. "I really hoped you would go along with it, Max. What I'm doing is making you popular! I can't believe you would refuse such a blessing! Well, I hate to do this, but if you don't want to become popular, then I'm going to take matters into my own hands."

Lorne stepped up to the Geek and kissed her on the lips.

"Ewww!" Max yelled in disgust. "Get away from her!"

"Why would I want to get away from him?" the Geek said in an enamored voice with a mind that was not hers. "He's my sweet baboo!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Max screamed at the top of his lungs as the Geek was put back on her feet and hanging on Lorne's arm. "Wake up, Geek! This isn't you! Snap out of it! I don't even think you have any romantic feelings. Stop it!"

"It's no use, Max," Lorne said turning around and ripping open a tear. "I used a mind-altering kiss to finish taking over her mind. She's in love with me now! I have a girlfriend! Woo!"

"You're a sick bastard, Lorne!" Max yelled at him angrily. "I hate you."

"You're saying that now," Lorne said. "But you'll thank me later when you're popular. This is for your own good, Max."

To Max's horror, Sam in his leather outfit from earlier jumped out of the tear.

"Hey, sexy!" Sam yelled.

"What are you doing, Lorne?" Max asked nervously.

"Maybe your mind will change once you've tried it out," Lorne said. "They say to not knock it 'til you've tried it. You just need to do the same thing."

"Please, Lorne!" Max yelled. "Don't do this!"

"Come to me, my love!" Sam yelled running to Max, swinging him around in his arms, and leaning in for a kiss.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Max yelled as everything faded to black.


	7. Chapter 7

When Max regained his senses, his eyes were shut and his body was being shaken violently. As he came to, he feared the worst.

"Max!" Sam yelled. "Max, wake up! Max!"

Max's eyes opened to see Sam hovering over him in his bed. His clothes were normal, but Max was not fooled. Sam pressed something wet and cold onto his forehead as Max's eyes darted around and his right hand felt around for his luger.

"It's alright, little pal," Sam said calmly. "You were just…"

"STAY THE $*& AWAY FROM ME, YOU PERVERT!" Max's sore voice screamed as he hopped up and pulled his gun in front of Sam's face letting the washcloth fall onto the bed. "I don't want to have to do this, but I will if you give me no other choice. Now, bring Lorne in here and let me finish him off before I have to do the same to you!"

"Max, what in the hell are you talking about?!" Sam yelled back as he straightened himself up on the bed. "What's gotten into you?! You're not still mad about earlier. Are you?!"

"Don't come any closer, you brainwashed zombie!" Max yelled as his whole aching body shook with fear. "I know what you've done to me and I won't let you do it anymore! Try to kiss me again and you're dead!"

"Cool it, Max."

"Stay back!"

Sam fell on top of Max to wrestle the gun away from him. It was easier said than done, but after less than a minute, Sam was sitting on top of Max's legs and held his arms down while Max was thrashing about and screaming with everything he had left in his horrified frenzy.

"I DON'T WANT TO KISS YOU, DUMBASS!" Sam yelled in his face to be sure he got the message.

"What?" Max asked quietly in confusion while Sam got off him and sat up again. "You don't?"

"Of course not," Sam said. "Why the hell would I want to kiss _you_?"

"But before, weren't you trying to make the moves on me?" Max said noticing suddenly that his head was aching again.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about, little buddy," Sam said pulling a tray of soup up from the floor. "But the doctor said that since you've gone all day without throwing up again, you needed to try to eat. I made you some chicken noodle soup. It's the thin stuff, so it shouldn't be too hard on your stomach."

"But Lorne brainwashed you!" Max said.

"What?"

"It's true. I woke up and I was all better so I went to the kitchen to see you but you were dressed like Dr. Frank-n-furter and all you wanted to do was go all the way with me so I used my telekinetic powers on you to try to break your legs but it didn't work so I took the car and ran away…gulp…"

Sam had taken the opportunity to put a spoonful of soup into Max's mouth since it was open. Max simply swallowed the food and continued as if nothing had happened. He didn't even care that Sam had snuck another pill onto the spoon.

"I used my telekinetic powers to fly the car in the air and called all our enemies but none of them had any clue about what I was talking about then the cops showed up in a helicopter and I threw tear gas at them and tried all my other weapons but it turned into rainbows and other magical, happy crap and they let me go…gulp…I flew the car all the way to Geek's lab and she looked like an anime character and was losing her genius IQ…gulp…I figured out that it was Lorne's fault and that I was the Mary Sue with unlimited power to do anything I wanted like create tears through time and space because he had stolen the Geek's reality-changing machine and changed everything to make the world resemble a bad fan fic…gulp…We went over to his place to kick his ass and I stopped time and tried to shoot him with all the guns I found in a tear I made but it turns out that he made it so guns didn't work and he changed everything else to try to make us more popular with the general public…gulp…so while the Geek tried to fix the machine I gave a badass speech about the value of being true to yourself and then fought him with my mystic powers and it was amazing…gulp…I used my portal gun and earthbending and airbending and my Devil's fruit stretching abilities and my Persona to beat him up…"

"Why didn't you just stop time again and use your telekinesis to break his neck?" Sam asked while filling the spoon with soup.

"I don't know," Max replied before Sam stuffed another spoonful of soup into his mouth. "But it turned out that Lorne had superpowers, too…gulp…He used waterbending to heal himself and bloodbending on me and the Geek while I was distracted talking to her…gulp…Then Lorne used chi-blocking so I was paralyzed and couldn't use my powers and a mind-scrambling kiss to make the Geek his girlfriend and then he opened a tear and brought you in so that you could…romance me into making me your gay lover…gulp…You leaned in to kiss me and I passed out before you could actually do it and now I'm here…gulp…Don't you remember any of it? Where's Lorne? Did the Geek change the machine back…gulp…?"

Sam used his hand that wasn't holding the spoon and placed it on Max's forehead.

"Your fever is starting to go down," Sam said. "Finally."

"What?" Max asked pulling the hand off.

"Little buddy, I hate to break it to you, but none of that happened. Lorne is in a mental institution, the Geek is her normal self, the machine doesn't exist, you don't have any more superpowers and have not left the house since this morning, and I would rather lock lips with the corpse of Bette Davis. At least, I know where that's been."

"So, you're saying that it was all a nightmare?"

"Yep, I came in here to check on you and you were yelling in your sleep. You have clearly been the victim of a nasty fever dream caused by a combination of your high fever and your insomnia."

Max sat there frozen for a second but then his normal psychotic smile returned to his face and he said, "Oh, thank God! I've never been so happy to know that I was experiencing a figment of my demented imagination. That was one of the worst dreams I've ever had…gulp…"

"Worse than the one where I become an elder god?" Sam asked while filling the spoon with soup again.

"I said _one_ of the worst, not _the_ worst…gulp… I mean some parts were alright, but at the beginning and especially at the end, everything went straight to hell. What is that stuck in my arm?"

Max just noticed the IV that was attached to his left arm.

"The Geek thought that you weren't getting enough fluids so in lieu of sending you to the hospital I authorized her to give you this IV of saline," Sam said.

"Oh," Max said before suddenly jumping off the bed and running to the bathroom pulling his IV behind him.

"Max, what's the matter?" Sam said as he got up and followed him.

"I have to go to the bathroom, nosy!" Max yelled before slamming the bathroom door in Sam's face.

Sam walked back across the room and sat back down on Max's bed. He noticed his Kindle sticking out from under the blankets and picked it up to look at it. Sam turned it on and found what Max was reading when he fell asleep as Max flushed the toilet.

"Wash your hands!" Sam yelled.

"Fine!" Max yelled back as he turned on the sink.

When he was done, Max opened the door, rode back to his bed on his IV pole, and sat down.

"I think I know what inspired your dream," Sam said showing the Kindle to Max.

"What?" Max asked looking at what he was showing him. "You mean your collection of bad fan fiction. I wondered what that was doing there."

"I keep a stash of it on my Kindle to read when I'm having trouble falling asleep. Usually, the writing is so absurd and boring that it knocks me right out. It looks like it had bad side effects on you, little pal."

"I guess so. That's the last time I read crack pairing stories while I'm trying to sleep."

"These fans can be so silly with all their preposterous pairings and relationships. It seems that they're so obsessed with sexual intercourse that they don't know how beautiful platonic friendship really is or any other relationship for that matter. It's no wonder they all struggle with loneliness."

"Yeah," Max said not annoyed for once at Sam's tangent. "If it's all the same to you, I would like to take a break from sleeping for a while."

"That is quite alright," Sam said pulling out a large bottle of water for Max to drink from. "You've been asleep since this morning and it is now the evening. Oh, that reminds me! I have a surprise for you!"

"What?" Max said taking the bottle of water from him. "Is this water actually vodka?"

"You don't even drink, dough head," Sam said while Max unscrewed the lid and started drinking. "I found a suspect for the case. Evidently, he's friends with the housekeeper who rearranged the commissioner's sock drawer. I haven't been able to get him to talk yet so…"

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET ME GO!" a distressed voice yelled from their den. "I'LL DO ANYTHING. JUST PLEASE DON'T LET THAT QUARANTINED RABBIT COME IN HERE!"

"You brought home a suspect for me?!" Max asked as he jumped up in joy.

"Yes," Sam said while Max's smile grew wider and wider and Sam pulled out a surgical mask and tied it around Max's head. "The man's a complete germaphobe, so I told him that if he didn't cooperate I would take him to my severely ill partner. Well, he wouldn't budge so I figured that since you couldn't leave the house to fight crime then we could fight crime from right here."

Max shed a few tears and surprisingly jumped into Sam's arms wrapping his arms around his neck in a big hug.

"Thank you so much! I'm sorry for being a jackass earlier," Max said unexpectedly. "You're the best friend I've ever had. I love you…platonically."

"You crack me up, little buddy," Sam said hugging him back.

The two let go of each other and Max said, "Now, just let me take off this IV."

"Leave it in," Sam said picking up the tray. "It makes you look more deathly ill and ravaged by your illness. It'll really scare the crap out of him. Besides, the bag is only half-empty and those things are expensive."

"Alright," Max said wrapping his blanket around his shoulders and picking up his water bottle as he prepared to get up. "So, what's the plan?"

"No, climb on my back," Sam said turning his back to Max. "It makes you look weaker."

Max climbed on and Sam opened the door and walked out with the tray in one hand and another hand around Max's IV.

"The plan is that if he doesn't answer my questions then you take off the mask and breathe on him," Sam said while Max was shaking in excited anticipation. "I'll go to the kitchen to drop off the tray and you can warm him up for me. I handcuffed him to the couch. You know what to do…Here, he is!"

"No!" the frightened suspect said. "Keep that sick creature away from me!"

"I'm not that sick," Max said before he started coughing extra dramatically.

"You won't catch what he has if you cooperate," Sam said while Max hopped off his back and leaned on the suspect affectionately. "Warm him up for me, Max. I'll be back as soon as I drop off the tray in the kitchen."


End file.
